He Weeps

I can't pretend to understand why our birth mom decided to place her child for adoption or how she feels right now.  We love her for the fact that she trusts us to provide her child a safe, healthy environment where she will be loved and cared for.  When she finally met Annie Faith today, we were not in the room, but we were told she spent a good amount of time holding her.When we came into the room, she was still holding Annie and her other child wasn't really sure about the whole situation.  The birth mom got to meet our three boys, that was a scary thought but they all did well.  They are excited about their sister.

The reason I have not shared the birth mom or daughter's names is because we have a semi-open adoption.  We have only shared our first names and all communication will be through the agency from now on.  Our birth mom moved to the care center ran by our adoption agency and told her family she was off at school.  She never told them she was pregnant or that she was going to place the baby.  She has done this all on her own.  I sit here tearing up at the thought of it.  She has faced a lot of difficulty in her life, and in the short time we have known her, she has handled it with maturity and strength.  At the end of the meeting today, I was fortunate enough to pray over our birth mom, her daughter and all of my family.  It is a memory that will forever be etched into my consciousness.  When Lisa texted me to tell me Annie had been born, the song "You are for Me" by Gateway Worship was playing (perfect timing), but I would like to leave you with a song that I think fits my over all feeling, and this one is for the birth mom. I hope I get to see her again some day. Please keep her in your prayers.

Joel

"He Weeps"- Fireflight

Where is God when the rain falls
And takes the car off the road
Is He standing in the storm
Where is God when the child cries
And no one bends to pick her up
Could someone tell me what He does

He weeps, He weeps with you
He weeps with me
When I'm on my knees
And I taste defeat
He weeps, He weeps

Where is God when she won't eat
When her bones start to show
Is He there when she's lost control
Where is God when a father
Turns his back on his son
Can someone tell me what He does

He weeps, He weeps with you
He weeps with me
When I'm on my knees
And I taste defeat
He weeps, He weeps

If today's your darkest day
And you can't escape the pain
Don't be afraid
He will never walk away

He weeps, He weeps with you
He weeps with me
When you're on your knees
And you taste defeat
He weeps, He weeps
He weeps with you
He weeps with me
When you're on your knees
And you taste defeat
He weeps, He weeps

photo teaser

In Texas, the birth mom must wait 48 hrs before they can place a baby for adoption.  Until then, we are holding off on posting any pictures, but here is a teaser.

What's in a name?

"A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold." - Proverbs 22:1

We serve an Awesome God who thought it was very important to name his creations. In Genesis 2:19, God brought all living creatures before Adam and whatever he called them, that was their name. We are blessed as parents to name our children. Thank you to our sweet birth mother for allowing us to name our daughter.

So, how did we come up with Annie Faith? Annie is special to us because Joel's sweet grandmother was called Annie (she preferred that over granny) by all of her grand- and great-grandchildren. On October 22, 2011 she was called home by our heavenly father. We thought this would be a great way to honor her memory. Lastly, Hannah is one of my favorite mother's in the bible. Annie is derived from Hannah and means grace, favor.

Why Faith? According to Hebrews 11:1, "faith is the evidence of things we hope for, the assurance of things unseen." Anyone that has been involved in this journey knows that "faith" has been the central theme the whole time. From deciding to adopt, to foster/international/domestic, to which agency, to race/gender/special needs, it has all been a step of faith and has grown our relationship with each other and with Christ. It was even a major component of what we named this blog (see post #1). A lot has occurred in our life and our faith is what has kept us strong.

Me and Annie

Birthday

7 am update- So what time do you show up at the hospital when you are expecting a child that you are not giving birth to? For us, that was 5:50 a.m. All we were told was that they planned on inducing at 5:00 a.m. and they would call us. We didn't have the social workers cell phone to check, so we figured it would be better to be early than to miss anything. So we sit in the waiting room yawning and not sure what we need to be doing.

9 am- Things are moving along. She is dilated to an 8, and has had her epidural. Lisa has gone back to see her and I am just anxiously waiting.

10:25 am-How in the world did Fathers back in the day sit out and wait while their wives gave birth!?!?!? This is killing me. Last update I got was 30 minago, she is fully dilated and had practiced pushing. Can't Lisa take the time to send me a text?

10:26 am-she's here. Born at 9:59, 6 lb 12 oz, 20" long, all is good.

Finish line?

Well, there is roughly 12 hours until we have to be at the hospital, and I can't really describe how I am feeling. Excited (yes), nervous (check), unsure (probably), scared (definitely). This has been an extremely long journey with all sorts of ups and downs and to think that by this time tomorrow I could be holding our daughter is surreal.


And her birth is just the beginning. Next is the 48 hr waiting period that the birth mom has to wait before she can relinquish her rights. Then we have to wait for the states of Texas and Mississippi to approve our interstate travel, then there are monthly checks by our case worker, and the adoption finalization in 6 months before the judge. But wait, then there is potty training (by the way, how do you change a girl's diaper?), and adolescence, and tween, and teenager, and dating (oh, my), then college.....I am glad my God is in control because I couldn't handle it any other way.


I want to thank everyone who has prayed with and for us over the last couple of years. You have all been supportive and loving, even if it was just to listen to us as we worked though our thoughts. You each have a special line in the story of our adoption. I am already blown away at how the adoption ministry at Colonial Hills seems to be spreading throughout the church and how even the young children are embracing Christ's vision for the fatherless. If you live in the Memphis/North Mississippi area and want to get involved, check out their blog or Facebook page.


Joel

Keeping Busy

In order to pass the time while we wait (instead of driving each other crazy), I (Joel) took a couple of days vacation to help my dad on the farm and Lisa has been practicing her seamstress skills.  We got a great deal on a charcoal gray carseat from a friend (thanks Nataly and James), but of course, a girl can't be seen in gray, so after going to 4 different cloth stores 3 times each, she decided on a fabric.  Of course, this meant we had to go back all of the stores again to look at ribbon to attach to it.  As you can see below, she did a great job.  Since finishing up yesterday, the nesting instinct has hit and she has been cleaning the house all day.  We have the car ready and will have our bag packed before hitting the sack for one of our last decent nights sleep for a while.  Can't believe it is all finally happening!

Joel

Monday, Monday

Well, things are shaping up.  Deere agreed to move our buyout date to June 8, to give us two more weeks to schedule our home visit (whew, a little breathing room).  The home owner we are buying from agreed to fix all of the items the inspector found, but we will now be closing on June 30.  This is probably for the best because we will have all of our equity by then.  Oh, and we got this email,

Lisa,

I got word that your birth mom will be induced on Monday at 5:00 a.m. if she doesn’t go any sooner.   She is dilated to a 3 so she may not wait until Monday but so far she is holding her own!  You guys can make plans to come down on Sunday evening and come to the hospital on Monday.  I will let you know when she wants you there.  She would like you to be in the room with her when she delivers.  This is exciting!  Of course, I will let you know if she goes earlier.

Becca

So we are excited.  God's timing is perfect.  I canceled his trip to El Paso tomorrow so he can be around in case we need to make an emergency trip.  Thanks to all of you that have prayed for and with us over the last year.  We could not have made it without your support.  Please pray specifically for Lisa, she is nervous about being in the room during the birth.  Pray for her to have peace and confidence in what to say and do.

Joel 

Still Waiting

Nothing to report, still waiting on God's perfect timing.  The birth mom goes in for a check up tomorrow. She needs to go into labor quick or wait until Saturday because I will be in El Paso Thursday and Friday. Lisa has kept busy by registering for the baby shower our awesome church is throwing for her (love Colonial Hills).  She is also making a custom baby seat cover and helping take care of my grandfather since his stroke last week.  She is an awesome mom and wife.  I am so blessed that God chose her for me.  Hope to have a more exciting update soon!

Joel

Ruffle Butts and Toe Blooms

Take delight in the Lord and He will give you your heart’s desires. Psalm 37:4

The past few days have been a whirl wind for me and my emotions.  I am not very good at expressing myself through words so bare with me.  Let me take you back to a year ago when we were looking for an adoption agency.  I had spent many months trying to figure out the who, whats, and where of adoption.  After much prayer and many closed doors, God lead us to Christian Homes in Abilene, Texas.  So, it looked like a domestic infant adoption was God’s plan.  We had prayed through age, race, medical conditions, and finally gender.  When I first talked to Christian Homes they were so nice and I connected with them immediately, I knew this was the agency.  Then I asked if we could specify gender and they said no.  I cried while the sweet lady on the other end of the phone began to explain how they pray over ever birthmother, baby, and adoptive family and let God design the family. Wow! I immediately felt God’s spirit fill me with peace that He knew my desires and He knew best.  That did not mean I would not pray fervently for a baby girl.  I often would second guess my heart.  I could certainly relate to boys ( I have 3 of them) and was very comfortable with them.  Girls made me nervous and at times I felt very awkward around them.  

Now, let’s fast forward a year later, we know that a baby girl is joining our family.  It is time for me to freak out; I have nothing pink.  I head out to this baby store my sister-in-law recommended.  As I open the door, full of excitement and fear I immediately feel like I am going to hyperventilate. I have never seen so much stuff!!! Those of you that have girls, how do you do it?  There are so many decisions for just one outfit.  I actually had to tell the lady I was overwhelmed and would have to come back later.  A few days later I tried again and wanted to share with you a few things I discovered.  For just one outfit you could buy a bow/flower, headband, outfit, leggings, ruffle butts (one of my favorite things), and shoes or toe blooms (very interesting).  How do you match it all? How do you afford it all? Most important which one outfit do you want? 

God has truly blessed me with a whole new adventure.  She may never have all these things or maybe just a few. :)  She will be absolutely beautiful, the way God created her. Thank you Jesus! 

Lisa

Ruffle Butts

Toe Blooms

Busy life

So it has been a crazy few months. I (Joel) took a new position effective Feb 1. This move would relocate us from Hernando, MS to Lubbock, TX. Lubbock is home for me, so it was a great opportunity to be closer to our family. We found a private school for Luke that specialized in dyslexia and enrolled him in the middle of March. He has excelled. About the same time, Lisa decided it would be easier to keep our house in MS clean if she was in Texas, so the whole family moved in with my parents. We were looking for houses and praying that our house in MS would sell soon. We looked at a lot of houses, but never found one we really liked. Lisa enrolled Will and Noah in the school that I graduated from (along with my dad and granddad) and they love it. We had decided to rent a house in the country and wait to buy or eventually build.

On Monday, April 23 at about 10 a.m., Lisa got a call that we had been selected by a birth mom. The only info they gave us was that she was due in a couple of weeks, they asked if we would be available at 3:30 for them to present us the situation and that they doubted we would turn it down. I was freaking out with anticipation. At 3:30, the ladies at Christian Homes and Family Services (which is an awesome organization if you are interested in adoption) called. They presented the birth mom's family and medical history, discussed her first and current pregnancy, and told us she was due May 15. They then presented information about the birth father, his family and medical history. They asked us if we had any questions, which we had a few basic ones. At the end, they asked if we had any more questions, of course, we wanted to know the gender. They all giggled and asked if we really wanted to know, YES, they said it was a baby GIRL!!!!!!

So we had to wait until Tuesday to confirm we wanted to go ahead with the match and meet the birth mom. We scheduled to meet her at 2 p.m. in Abilene (about a 3 hr drive from Lubbock). As I drove to work on Wednesday, Lisa called and said her mom had found the perfect house for us. I looked it up online and agreed. The only problem was, I had to pick my boss up at the airport at 11 and I would be busy with him until we left for Abilene on Friday. Luckily, our realtor got us in at 10 and it didn't take long to realize that this was the house. We made an offer that afternoon, they counter offered on Thursday morning and we came to an agreement that afternoon. We are excited to be closing on our new house June 15!

So we made the drive on Friday, making small talk. I am typically the calm, level-headed one, but I was as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. We got to the office early and had to wait 15 years (ok, maybe it was 15 minutes) until we could start our meeting. The social worker explained to us how the meeting would work and that our birth mom is very shy and quiet. When she came in, it was an awkward moment. How do you have a conversation with someone about them giving you their child? She is a beautiful girl. She is about 5'1", with long, brown hair and brown eyes, fair skinned and probably only weighs 130 lb at 9 mo pregnant! She talked about why she wanted to place the baby for adoption, about her family and the amount of contact she wants to have. She told us that she had narrowed her selection down to two families, one with no children and then us. She said that she liked the idea that her daughter would have 3 brothers to protect and spoil her. Man, did she have our boys nailed! We talked about why we wanted to adopt, about our families and just us in general. They then brought in her 10 mo old daughter, who is precious and we played with her for about an hour. We (along with the birth mom) were then given until Monday to confirm the match. We didn't need it, but those are the rules.

On Sunday night, an enormous storm came through town and our new house got hit with baseball size hail, insurance should pay for it, but it is just another thing on our list. Lisa called to confirmed that we wanted to move along with the match, but only got voicemail. After no return call, she called again on Monday afternoon and got voicemail again. Tuesday comes, she calls again, voicemail. I am now starting to worry. Luckily, the case worker calls about noon and says we are good to go and that the birth mom is now dilated to 3 cm.

So now we are just waiting. After the baby is born, we have to wait 48 hrs before the mom can terminate her rights. We then have to wait for TX and MS to approve our paperwork (can take 10 days). We will then head to MS since that is where our home study is current. After meeting with our case worker there (Lauren Johnson of Senatobia, also awesome to work with) we can transfer the paperwork to Texas. So we will see all of our MS friends sometime in May!!!

Oh, and one last thing, everyone said girls are more expensive than boys, and now I know that, I can't believe all the pink stuff I have had to look over the last week and the cost of it all.

Joel

It's a GIRL!!

Why Adoption?

If I have been asked this once, I have been asked it a thousand times, Why adoption?  There isn't a simple answer to this question, there are a lot of deep, personal reasons, but I will try.  First of all, we don't have any issues with fertility.  Lisa has been interested in adoption for a while.  I on the other hand, thought we had a big enough family with 3 boys and couldn't see providing for another child.  Luckily, God had other ideas for us!  Almost 2 years ago, I decided to do an in-depth study of the book of James.  Little did I know, before I finished chapter one, I would go through a complete transformation.  James 1:27 states "Pure and undefiled religion is this, to care for orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained from this world."  Wow, what a revelation.  It doesn't say if you have the money, if you have the time, if you have the room...

Ok, so maybe I should start thinking about it.  So what else does scripture say about adoption?  Eph 1:5 says we were predestined "for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will".  Galations 4:4-7 reveals that we are co-heirs with Christ. The old testament is full of references that talk about how God cares for and protects the fatherless (Jer 5:28-29, Psalm 10:18, Ex 22:22-23, Psalm 68:5, etc).  As a Christian, it is clear that we are all adopted into Christ's family through His sacrifice on the cross and directed to care for the fatherless.  Does that mean that we are all called to adopt into our family? No, but it is clear that we are called to care for orphans, just as we are called to make disciples of all nations.  A great resource to determine how you can help is the book Orphanology by Tony Merida and Rick Morton.

So I don't think the question should be "Why adopt?", I think it should be "Why not adopt?" - Joel

God has led us through a lot in our 3 year journey towards adoption.  While this leg of the journey is getting close to an end, the real journey is about to begin.  Watch the video of the song that inspired the name of our blog and if you like it, go to iTunes and buy it.

link to iTunes purchase

"Give me Faith" by Elevation Worship

I need you to soften my heart

To break me apart

I need you to open my eyes

To see that You’re shaping my life

All I am, I surrender

Give me faith to trust what you say

That you’re good and your love is great

I’m broken inside, I give you my life

I need you to soften my heart

To break me apart

I need you pierce through the dark

And cleanse every part of me 

I may be weak

But your Spirit’s strong in me

My flesh may fail

My God you never will