He Weeps

I can't pretend to understand why our birth mom decided to place her child for adoption or how she feels right now.  We love her for the fact that she trusts us to provide her child a safe, healthy environment where she will be loved and cared for.  When she finally met Annie Faith today, we were not in the room, but we were told she spent a good amount of time holding her.When we came into the room, she was still holding Annie and her other child wasn't really sure about the whole situation.  The birth mom got to meet our three boys, that was a scary thought but they all did well.  They are excited about their sister.

The reason I have not shared the birth mom or daughter's names is because we have a semi-open adoption.  We have only shared our first names and all communication will be through the agency from now on.  Our birth mom moved to the care center ran by our adoption agency and told her family she was off at school.  She never told them she was pregnant or that she was going to place the baby.  She has done this all on her own.  I sit here tearing up at the thought of it.  She has faced a lot of difficulty in her life, and in the short time we have known her, she has handled it with maturity and strength.  At the end of the meeting today, I was fortunate enough to pray over our birth mom, her daughter and all of my family.  It is a memory that will forever be etched into my consciousness.  When Lisa texted me to tell me Annie had been born, the song "You are for Me" by Gateway Worship was playing (perfect timing), but I would like to leave you with a song that I think fits my over all feeling, and this one is for the birth mom. I hope I get to see her again some day. Please keep her in your prayers.

Joel

"He Weeps"- Fireflight

Where is God when the rain falls
And takes the car off the road
Is He standing in the storm
Where is God when the child cries
And no one bends to pick her up
Could someone tell me what He does

He weeps, He weeps with you
He weeps with me
When I'm on my knees
And I taste defeat
He weeps, He weeps

Where is God when she won't eat
When her bones start to show
Is He there when she's lost control
Where is God when a father
Turns his back on his son
Can someone tell me what He does

He weeps, He weeps with you
He weeps with me
When I'm on my knees
And I taste defeat
He weeps, He weeps

If today's your darkest day
And you can't escape the pain
Don't be afraid
He will never walk away

He weeps, He weeps with you
He weeps with me
When you're on your knees
And you taste defeat
He weeps, He weeps
He weeps with you
He weeps with me
When you're on your knees
And you taste defeat
He weeps, He weeps

photo teaser

In Texas, the birth mom must wait 48 hrs before they can place a baby for adoption.  Until then, we are holding off on posting any pictures, but here is a teaser.

What's in a name?

"A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold." - Proverbs 22:1

We serve an Awesome God who thought it was very important to name his creations. In Genesis 2:19, God brought all living creatures before Adam and whatever he called them, that was their name. We are blessed as parents to name our children. Thank you to our sweet birth mother for allowing us to name our daughter.

So, how did we come up with Annie Faith? Annie is special to us because Joel's sweet grandmother was called Annie (she preferred that over granny) by all of her grand- and great-grandchildren. On October 22, 2011 she was called home by our heavenly father. We thought this would be a great way to honor her memory. Lastly, Hannah is one of my favorite mother's in the bible. Annie is derived from Hannah and means grace, favor.

Why Faith? According to Hebrews 11:1, "faith is the evidence of things we hope for, the assurance of things unseen." Anyone that has been involved in this journey knows that "faith" has been the central theme the whole time. From deciding to adopt, to foster/international/domestic, to which agency, to race/gender/special needs, it has all been a step of faith and has grown our relationship with each other and with Christ. It was even a major component of what we named this blog (see post #1). A lot has occurred in our life and our faith is what has kept us strong.

Me and Annie

Birthday

7 am update- So what time do you show up at the hospital when you are expecting a child that you are not giving birth to? For us, that was 5:50 a.m. All we were told was that they planned on inducing at 5:00 a.m. and they would call us. We didn't have the social workers cell phone to check, so we figured it would be better to be early than to miss anything. So we sit in the waiting room yawning and not sure what we need to be doing.

9 am- Things are moving along. She is dilated to an 8, and has had her epidural. Lisa has gone back to see her and I am just anxiously waiting.

10:25 am-How in the world did Fathers back in the day sit out and wait while their wives gave birth!?!?!? This is killing me. Last update I got was 30 minago, she is fully dilated and had practiced pushing. Can't Lisa take the time to send me a text?

10:26 am-she's here. Born at 9:59, 6 lb 12 oz, 20" long, all is good.

Finish line?

Well, there is roughly 12 hours until we have to be at the hospital, and I can't really describe how I am feeling. Excited (yes), nervous (check), unsure (probably), scared (definitely). This has been an extremely long journey with all sorts of ups and downs and to think that by this time tomorrow I could be holding our daughter is surreal.


And her birth is just the beginning. Next is the 48 hr waiting period that the birth mom has to wait before she can relinquish her rights. Then we have to wait for the states of Texas and Mississippi to approve our interstate travel, then there are monthly checks by our case worker, and the adoption finalization in 6 months before the judge. But wait, then there is potty training (by the way, how do you change a girl's diaper?), and adolescence, and tween, and teenager, and dating (oh, my), then college.....I am glad my God is in control because I couldn't handle it any other way.


I want to thank everyone who has prayed with and for us over the last couple of years. You have all been supportive and loving, even if it was just to listen to us as we worked though our thoughts. You each have a special line in the story of our adoption. I am already blown away at how the adoption ministry at Colonial Hills seems to be spreading throughout the church and how even the young children are embracing Christ's vision for the fatherless. If you live in the Memphis/North Mississippi area and want to get involved, check out their blog or Facebook page.


Joel

Keeping Busy

In order to pass the time while we wait (instead of driving each other crazy), I (Joel) took a couple of days vacation to help my dad on the farm and Lisa has been practicing her seamstress skills.  We got a great deal on a charcoal gray carseat from a friend (thanks Nataly and James), but of course, a girl can't be seen in gray, so after going to 4 different cloth stores 3 times each, she decided on a fabric.  Of course, this meant we had to go back all of the stores again to look at ribbon to attach to it.  As you can see below, she did a great job.  Since finishing up yesterday, the nesting instinct has hit and she has been cleaning the house all day.  We have the car ready and will have our bag packed before hitting the sack for one of our last decent nights sleep for a while.  Can't believe it is all finally happening!

Joel

Monday, Monday

Well, things are shaping up.  Deere agreed to move our buyout date to June 8, to give us two more weeks to schedule our home visit (whew, a little breathing room).  The home owner we are buying from agreed to fix all of the items the inspector found, but we will now be closing on June 30.  This is probably for the best because we will have all of our equity by then.  Oh, and we got this email,

Lisa,

I got word that your birth mom will be induced on Monday at 5:00 a.m. if she doesn’t go any sooner.   She is dilated to a 3 so she may not wait until Monday but so far she is holding her own!  You guys can make plans to come down on Sunday evening and come to the hospital on Monday.  I will let you know when she wants you there.  She would like you to be in the room with her when she delivers.  This is exciting!  Of course, I will let you know if she goes earlier.

Becca

So we are excited.  God's timing is perfect.  I canceled his trip to El Paso tomorrow so he can be around in case we need to make an emergency trip.  Thanks to all of you that have prayed for and with us over the last year.  We could not have made it without your support.  Please pray specifically for Lisa, she is nervous about being in the room during the birth.  Pray for her to have peace and confidence in what to say and do.

Joel